Summer is more than halfway over now that we are a week and a half into August. Two months is really not very long and yet summer seemed like an eternity when we were kids. I love the warmth of the air, the continuous bounty of fresh fruit and the break from the routine of the rest of the year.
Summer is also a good time for weddings, probably because the weather is usually decent enough to accommodate an outdoor ceremony and photos. No, I have no plans to get remarried; once was enough and I’m already married. My husband and I will be celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary at the end of August. After 42 years of marriage, my parents recently renewed their vows in front of their grown children and spouses. Although they didn’t actually didn’t get married in the summer, they thought that this time of year would be good in order to have an outdoor party and barbecue. My brother and his beautiful new Persian bride will be getting married at the end of this month. To old love, new love, every kind of love and especially true love – to partially borrow from Cole Porter.
But when is a good time for marriage? After nearly 13 years of marriage and 2 kids, I’m still not sure. For me, marriage had nothing to do with joining two families or becoming as one person or religion. I still have my maiden name and even after two children, I have no plans to change it. When my husband and I got married, we had been living together for 18 months and the relationship was serious. I was terrified to do this thing but I felt that it was the right thing to do for me, for us. It was like diving into a lake and not knowing exactly what would happen; scary but exhilarating at the same time. Immediately after our ceremony, I felt giddy in a way I had never felt before. Since then, we have gone on quite a journey together – some of it beautiful and some of it rocky but ultimately, we are still together and we’ve grown together. Keep in mind that I’m very conservative in many ways and for me, a long term relationship and marriage early in my adult life was the right thing for me to do. It isn’t the right thing for everyone.
I do think it’s better to live with someone before marriage. Legally, it doesn’t matter if you live with someone in a marriage-like relationship or if you are legally married. I honestly don’t know which way is better and I hope that I never pass any judgements either way on my children or anyone else. It depends on the comfort of the individuals involved and no one can tell you one way or the other what is right for you.
Married or not, I’m starting to get ready for the start of the September teaching season. I’m expanding my teaching roster now that our big boy Daniel is starting Kindergarten. He’ll adjust well; I’m the one who will need the help. I will be back teaching at my home studio, Mt. Pleasant Community Centre and at the Shadbolt Centre. If you want to book your free trial lesson so that you can decide if lessons are right for you before the September rush, just send me an email or give me a call.